Tammie

Tammie is 19, coming from a very small town. Her mom is a caregiver and her stepfather is unemployeed. Her sister was molested by their biological father and is a smoker and drinker even though she is only 16. The whole family is obese, besides the stepfather. She hates going home. She is working at a private daycare center with 12 kids. And she sits on the couch watching TV during the spare time.

She picked Iman up in Sweatwaters on New Year's Eve 2005 and they started dating since then. She thought she gained some respect from him because she refused to have sex with him for the first two weeks. She told me that he said he hadn't had sex for over four years and I told her to give him a trophy. He is her first. Gradually we start to hear her telling us Iman's comments, or rather criticism about her, including her cooking skills, her education prospect, her weight, her drinking... One morning she was about to cook two eggs for breakfast even though he suggested one. Then he said:"Then don't complain that you are fat." She later told me that she was holding back tears. It only gets worse as time goes. Now she found out that he portraied her to his friends as a alcoholic with no future. He was also surprised that he is her first because he thought all the Canadian girls are sluts. Ironically he does not behave like a really religious Iranian who would regard premarital sex as a sin. Basically he thinks he is too good for her. She tried to tell him that he has been hurting her feelings but he refuses to listen. And he got upset at her because she told her mother that they met in the club instead of the library.

I told her to dump the frigging snob before he does more damage to her. I said:"I don't know what you are thinking, but if I were you I would have dumped him weeks ago." Is it so easy to be attached to anyone when you are lonely and emotionally vunerable? Even to an asshole?