Yang is not going to be there

Sent him an email to let him know about my trip to China, got his answer today say that he is now working in Shanghai and probably won't be in Beijing in November. what a disappointment. Want to see how is he doing right now, looks wonderful based on the info I got from the past several scarce emails, both in career and marriage. Such a talented person. Why didn't I fall in love with him before? Still wish that he could take a trip to Beijing, for me.

Still two months before the vacation.

Just realized Blogger is blocked by the Chinese Governemt. Why is it so scared of people's freedome of speech if it is bragging about its achievement day in and day out?

So first of all I have to find a cafe that offers free internet access, and then I have to figure out a way to post my blogs.

Going Home

心疼呀 ：（ 一千八的机票，快一个月的工钱了，什么时候才能攒回来呦。还要给爸妈钱，爷爷奶奶也一定要给，不过这都是应该的，到也不特别心疼。

不过回去还是令人兴奋的。一想到可一大吃大喝就开心。煎饼果子，我回来啦！还要象疯了一样的买东西。能这么过三周就是第四周死了也没关系。这个小城市闷死了。

不过要再来一次，我还回留学。打中文好累。

Can't Wait!

Oh My! Finally the trip to Chines really start to materialize. Three weeks in November is earned by not taking anydays off for the past year, since I started working here (except for the holidays of course, don't work that hard). Especially after the call to Anxian. Two and a half month seems to be so long now.

No strangely, I don't really miss my parents as much. Most of the dreams I made about the visit were about hanging out with friends, shopping, and enjoy the food. Almost cried the other day when thinking about parting with grandparents again. Would this be the last time I will ever see them?? Everytime I leave they would stand on the balcony until I get out of sight. I can't even bear the thought of it. Life is cruel and I made the choice to leave.

How am I going to live with my parents again? What would I say to them? They will complain again that I don't call them often, and once face to face, would I still have the courage to say that: it is because that's how I was brought up! Hard to picture them in my life anymore.

And of course, Yang. How would he feel when we meet after 6 years? I want to look good if not better so that he won't be disappointed as what usually happens, and wonders what he saw in me. What should I wear?

They all tell me to make some Chinese dresses, sure I will, and many other things on the shopping list.

Can't wait to finally say: China here I come!