8:12 AM, Nov 23, Beijing

He got my email the same night at 11pm, didn’t call me buz it was too late. Yesterday approx noon time he called when we were on our way out to another restaurant that I didn’t have the appetite for. Same old same old, why did he even bother calling if nothing comes out of that letter. We talked about his wife’s encounter with a theft on the bus, I asked how was his schedule like... Called me again approx 10PM, still the same. Knowing this is leading nowhere, why am I trying to provoke sth? What a slut am I.

Talked to mother when dad was taking a nap. Told her to put herself first even though I know that will never happen. She couldn’t even do what she wants that might cause some inconvenience for dad. She has to go to Wuhan to take care of grandparents with dad, to that boring apartment without friends. I said it wasn’t her responsibility and for sure she will be the one who cooks all day. I asked her, looking back the past 63 years of her life, when was the best period? Surprising to me, instead of her university years, it was the two years that dad was away abroad. They have developed some sort of friendship. They cares for each other but there is no common ground for them to reach another level of relationship. I can’t stand the way dad talks to mom, without respect and full of annoyance. Everyone else regards him as a good person. Why would someone treat everyone else so much better than the person who is the closest? I told mom that with her look (younger years since she doesn’t care for her looks and even worse now), intelligence and personality, she deserves someone who treats her life a queen, just like how Dave cares for me. But a divorce doesn’t seem to be an option. She agrees that she will be liberated once dad passes away.

Don’t have much to say with dad, but still felt a string in heart heart was touched when he patted my shoulder as he leaves for the hospital to get the refills of his many prescriptions.

The sun that shone on us at the beginning of my return is now blocked by the thick smog that smells like burning coals. Mom said this is how Beijing looks like during the normal days.

10:51PM

Went shopping with Chun. Bought some silver jewelries, two hats, a handbag, a pair of gloves, two scarves, one skirt and one jacket. Everything is so cheap plus Chun helped me to slash the price by more than half! I was so excited.
But the beginning wasn’t that much fund while still amusing. When I was waiting for Chun outside of the building, a guy came and talked non-stop about the new beauty parlor opened on the 7th floor. I wasn’t interested at all because I don’t want somebody dress worse than me to tell me how to pamper myself. But we decided to go after he told us that everyone of them has a quota everyday, and it will only take 5 mins. What a lie. He ushered us to the floor without signs of their new biz. Before the door opened after he rang the door bell, I said to Chun that we might will be sold to some farm soon. It was a very ordinary hair saloon same as those on the street that I won’t step in. Then each of us was introduced to a “consultant”, but farmer look-a-likes. When he was talking I was worried that his saliva land on my head. Holy Moly he could talk non-stop too and does not give me a chance to interrupt. I told him this wasn’t my priority of the day and I need to go asap, but of course this was ignored. He then told me how weird my skulled was shaped, and how to balance my skull and cheek bones with a style he picked from a magazine he bought from Shanghai. I insisted to leave but was convinced to stay because he has to meet His quota by having my hair washed. Then after I washed my hair he requested to give me a haircut which was of course declined. He said repeatedly that the girls in Shanghai and southern China wants simple haircut that’s easy to style without using lots of products, that girls in Beijing always chase the fashion in a rigid wrong way (emphasizing it by pointing to Chun’s curly hair). I was sick of those shit by then and couldn’t keep my smile any longer. I said I don’t find anything wrong with my style, I don’t want to have a cut, and I need him to blow dry it right away because I’ve told him an hour ago that I wanted to leave soon. OMG I was so annoyed but still didn’t want to hurt his feeling. I asked him for his biz card of politeness but sworn I will never ever go back to that shit hole.

When shopping even in Highend stores the sales assistant would come so close to me and talk about whatever I picked up even after I told them that I just wanted to browse! Some of them stood at the border of their stores and shout their promotion.

But it was fun hanging out with Chun. The intimacy we had before came back. We chatted about thing happened in our lives, she in Australia and Taiwan, I in Canada. I learnt how she met her lovely adorable hubby, her visit to Taiwan, and things happen in our family. I felt bad for resenting her after learning things she did from my parents. I am really happy for her, and wish Dave and I could be living in Beijing so that we could have group date often.

Then we forgot to tell my parents that we were not having supper at home. Turned out they were waiting so we had to eat more with full bellies just to make them feel better.